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I have 499 friends on Facebook, as I type this message. Perhaps by the time it gets to you, I’ll be over the hump and have that 500th person.

And why do I need that one more person when I have so many friends already? you may be thinking. It’s because I’m bored right now, and I hate to be bored. I’m never bored, and so this is an emergency!

I need that one more friend…. That extra person with some pizzazz, some heart, some wisdom, or something to make me laugh. I left Facebook just 10 minutes ago because it was too boring.


So, I’m going back… Maybe that one extra friend is there already. Maybe he or she has something really cool to say or to show me or to cause an off-handed snark. Or something!!! Anything!

OK, I’m back. 10 minutes later, and some things have changed. Let’s look down the page together.

Ah… there’s something. My BFF from like the 6th grade until after high school. Hmm… She looks the same. Same smile. Same crazy hair that I would have died to have because it was so big and wild. I never did have very big hair, and that always bothered me. I’m one of those people who use the volumizer shampoos, as if they even work.

Anyway, she confessed to me one time that while I was envying her hair, she wanted to be me. That was really weird. I mean, there were a whole lot of other people to be like. Why me? I loved her for that in a selfish sort of way, and then, it occurred to me that she never knew that she was cool herself.  I never figured that out because everyone liked her. I loved her! I’d have done anything for her.

I have to admit that she stole my boyfriend in the 8th grade. Well… he wasn’t REALLY my boyfriend. I just wanted him to be my boyfriend, so that made it OK. I mean, he was fair game and all and he certainly hadn’t declared loyalty or anything. He just ended up picking her over me.

I wondered about that for a long time… And then, I stopped.

Oh, and look! There’s Jim Morrison. (No, not that one. This one’s alive and well and living in California, lucky duck. I miss it still.) He put up a video of the fractals he creates: And I want you to go right now and watch it.

Now, that was fun, wasn’t it? I enjoyed that and it took up a good 6 minutes or so. Jim can always be counted on for creativity and an off-beat and wonderful sense of humor. So, thanks, my friend. You made my 6 minutes, for sure.  Thanks, there’s a couple of hours to go, though, and the pickins is slim.

But wait! Check that out… Andy Duncan has a girlfriend. That’s nice. I wish him well.

And who could miss Tellman being his kooky, wild self, while spouting some good advice. The cool part about Tellman is that you always want to know what he’s going to do next.

People don’t think that about me. I’m really predictable. I mean, when I saw Kyle Battis pushing unicorn meat, I was wondering if some Tellman hadn’t rubbed off, after I scolded him, of course. The scolding… so predictable. Argh!

Oh, and look! There are a couple of my writing friends, who I have known virtually for nearly 15 years. We all used to hang out in a place called misc.writing on Usenet, and we were all writers or wannabe writers, and it was great. Lots of funny stuff. Lots of arguing. And then, the rot set in, as it will inevitably do, and some troublemakers took over. Everyone just faded away. But thanks to Facebook, they’re back! Well, most of them are — at least the ones I cared anything about.

One time, two of them — one living in Florida and the other in New Zealand — collaborated on a book. Then, 10 years ago, they collaborated on a marriage. That was so cool. I was one of the first people to know, too. I was honored. 🙂

Though, I wonder where my daughter is hiding today. She’s bee locked up in her inner sanctum sanctorum writing. She’s sending off her first pieces and it warms my heart to see how much she loves writing. It’s so funny, though. She said she’d never be a writer like me.

Silly girl. Doesn’t she get that it’s in the genes?

And my sister. I haven’t seen her on Facebook in weeks!  That reminds me I’d better call her.

You going to see the movie? Or just kind of hang around and spy on my Facebook page?


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