Hello. I’m an Internet marketer. I really should go to a meeting, but well… just can’t seem to stay away from the stuff, you know.
One of the things we Internet marketers do a lot of is to give bonuses for buying our products. It can be anything — a video, an e-book, or a whole course, right? Well…
Offline marketers sometimes do the same thing. All women know about cosmetic bonuses. They’re always giving away X for buying $X of Y. But yesterday, it went a little far. My daughter shops online a lot. Yes, I taught her. It’s my fault. So, anyway, yesterday she gets a package in the mail from Forever 21. The store is geared to 20-somethings, for sure, and she really loves their merchandise.
But here’s the bonus — a bright orange thong, with this tag on it that reads:
“Birds of a Feather Flea Market Treasures, Sophie & Me, SATURDAY Sleepovers Lazy Sundays Sick Mondays Breakfast In Bed. Cereal.”
We sure as hell couldn’t figure out what that was supposed to mean. Think about it. A thong? It’s supposed to bring up those images? Who wants to lay around in bed eating cereal with a string up their ass? Or does doing the thong bring those images about because you’re trying so damned hard NOT to be annoyed.
Shannon really doesn’t like thongs either and decided that if we’re ever attacked by aliens (or zombies), she can use it as a slingshot.