I know, I know.. I promised more, but well… I have had a very rude awakening since writing that last post. Let me tell you:
I did my normal PCP (primary care physician) visit in July. I’ve always had a bad time taking statins. They give me hives or make me vomit. I really hate them, and wouldn’t take them anyway. We never heard so much about macular degeneration, until statins became everyone’s favorite drug. It’s bad. Glad I can’t take them.
But my doctor insists I need them. My bad cholesterol that I inherited is high, but overall, it’s only 202. By my doctor wanted to do a calcium study on my heart to check for any calcification. It was a ten-minute CAT scan. No problemo. There was a tad of calcium built up, but he said that was nothing to worry about. Yet, he found a mass in the lower part of my lung. The funny thing is that my insurance company said it wouldn’t cover the test that found it. Thinking it would be expensive, I called to cancel my appointment. The woman asked why, so I said, “Too expensive.” Then, she told me it was only $85. Best $85 I ever spent.
Anyway, now, here I am going to a pulmonologist. He said he wanted another test, so I had a PET scan. They inject something that sticks to cancer cells. That goober mass of mine lit up like a flashlight in the dark. Probably cancer. So, then, it was biopsy time. I was warned not to do that, but I wanted to know for sure what the heck that mass was. I was convinced that it was nothing. I have zero symptoms.
Seriously, I haven’t had a symptom, but I am losing weight fast, just over the last couple of weeks. I have lost 6 pounds since this started. I thought it was my GLP-1 patches. Hmmmph. I have no need of them now. Cancer is the great weight-loss system, except you could die. Not good.
So we did the biopsy. I was able to look online to see the results. They advise against it if you haven’t spoken to your doctor, but hey… I WANT TO KNOW what comes next. So it’s large-cell lung cancer, which is the most popular version around. I hoped they could take it out arthroscopically, and I don’t know that it’s not possible yet. I have to see a thoracic surgeon next. I’m waiting for them to call me for an appointment but my pulmonologist says they can “resection” the lung and only take out the bad part. That involves big pain. I hate pain. I’ve had it all my life from fibromyalgia. Whatever it is, it is.
Here’s the thingt: I have had a very full life. I have visited everywhere around this country and even made it to London. I so could travel more, but I’m content. I have written 11 or 12 books. I had a successful business for 13 years. I’m kind of winding things down now, but dang it… I turned 73 in June. I’m not afraid of dying. Like 22% of people live 5 years if they do nothing, so I think I’ll be OK. I just don’t want any strokes that accompany this surgery. My dad had one from a double bypass when he was 70, but he smoked all his life and drank, not a lot, but weekends? Look out. I loved him just the way he was. But he may have had a part in starting this cancer. He smoked. Everyone did back in the day. My mother smoked, Even I smoked until 1984, and my husband smokes to this day. I make him go outside, but argh… heart patient. Duh. And take it from a former smoker, it stinks. I hate it.
Anyway, my biggest fear is the complications. The only reason I want to stick around here is to be with my daughter and my husband. They would be lost without me. I just don’t want them to have to care for me, like my mother and I cared for my dad. He was 6 feet tall and came away from a nursing home at 114 pounds and a shadow of his old self. He needed a wheelchair to get around after all that. Cool thing is that we got closer than we ever were before. I treasure the time I was able to spend with him. He lived 2 years more, and then, died of a cerebral aneurysm. Another issue. My grandfather on my mom’s side died from the same thing. Double jeopardy. I’ve been wanting to lose some weight, but not that much! Still, I keep hearing my mother saying it’s better to have some meat on you when you’re older, in case you get sick. Hmm… Again. I’m counting on it, Mom. I listened. Ha!